Lifestyle Relationship Matters

Eight (8) Ways To Heal And Move On After A Heart-Break

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Sometimes it can almost feel like death when someone who was once so much a part of your life is now no longer in it, and that is very sad, even if you realize that this wasn’t the right for you. Give yourself time to grieve and be kind and gentle to yourself. Don’t get mad at yourself for feeling what you’re feeling; accept it as a part of the process. But don’t let this drag on for too long. Life must go on and you’ll never move forward if you keep mourning this loss.

Here are the 8 ways to heal and move on after a :

#1. Accept The New Reality

Accept that the fact that your heart was made to be broken. Never focus on moving on first, because that will hurt you deep inside. First accept the reality that you experience a heart-break and now you are hurt and single again. However, avoid dwelling on being heartbroken for too long.

#2. Acknowledge Your Feelings, Don’t Hide It

This can be the hard part, but it has to be done. Whatever it is you’re feeling, feel it. Don’t bury it, don’t hide from it, and don’t ignore it. Feel the awful, brutal feelings. Mourn the loss, because a breakup is a loss. It’s the loss of potential, the loss of what could have been. Be willing to accept the pain and feel it. Denying it will only prolong getting to a point you can heal. Don’t rush by neglecting the hurt feelings. Allow as much time as needed for the feelings to fade. Do not let anyone make you feel you are weak for acknowledging the hurt feelings, everyone feels things different. Take all the time you need and don’t feel weak.

#3.Cut All Contacts With Your Ex If That Will Make You Better

Healing from heart-break is different from one person to another; while some may need to cut all contact another may not have too. If you are always hurt getting in touch with your ex, it’s advisable you cut all contacts with him/her. Probably seeing them on any social media aches your heart, just unfollow them, for watsapp, you may have to delete his or her number. At times it may not even be social media; it may be through memories of times you have had together. These may not be easy to get rid of. But try as much as you can to make those memories mean nothing much to you. You can also delete songs that make you remember your ex on your playlist. Delete chats and avoid venues that can easily make you remember your ex till you are healed and don’t get moved by them again.

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#4.Take Your Time And Cry

Don’t force yourself to ‘get over it; people need different time to move on. You don’t need to do it in a week or in a month. Take your time. You don’t owe anyone moving to get healed but yourself so take your time and be heal properly. It’s for you, on your terms. Also give time to cry. Embrace the pain, cry until you become satisfied. Healing physical wounds doesn’t happen overnight. It requires toughness and time. Same with emotional wounds, give time because everything will be all right. Don’t shy to cry, cry and be crowned a winner in an emotional heart-break.

#5. Write Your Ex A Letter You Don’t Send

This can be a part of the grieving process, and while it may sound pointless, it is incredibly therapeutic and can assist in helping your feelings process. After a heart-break, your emotions will probably start spiraling all over the place, rage, sadness, longing, anger, nostalgia, emptiness; you could feel it all in the span of just 30 minutes. No matter what state you’re in, write a letter with all the things you want to say to him or her. Whether you’re feeling fury and want to let him/her have it, or you’re feeling nostalgic and want to reflect upon the happier times. Whenever you feel an urge to reach out to your ex, or to speak to your ex, or even if you start thinking about things you wish you had said, just write it out in a letter. This will help you to really pour out your mind and at the end when you read it; you will discover there are things you can get over.

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#6. Explore And Have Fun

Take on something new, find a new hobby. Do something that’s different from everything else you have tried before. Travel and explore, meet new people. Along the way you might even find that person, people or things that can make your healing process faster and easier. Travel, make yourself beautiful like get fit, and lose weight. All these are best revenge for you to make yourself better. Learn, grow and love yourself more.

#7. Surround Yourself With Loved Ones And Open Up To Them

Loved ones here doesn’t necessary has to be relatives or families. Just look out for people you love, that love you and are trustworthy that you can always open up to and share your feelings with. Having people like this around you give you a rapid healing. The loss of someone who you shared a relationship with will inevitably leave a void that can make you feel empty and more alone than ever before. The best way to combat this feeling is to fill the hole with more love, either from family or friends. Don’t isolate yourself from the world, get out there and rebuild some of those relationships that may have been neglected due to your relationship. Spend as much time as you can around people who truly love you and care about your happiness and wellbeing. You should also immerse yourself in some self-love. Do some things just for you. Get a massage, a facial, buy a pair of amazing shoes. Give yourself a self-indulgent treat for no other reason than you love yourself and want to treat yourself kindly. Love yourself and discover you deserve to do something better for yourself than wallowing in pain and hurt of heart-break.

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#8. Do A Self-Check

Everything that happens in life, especially when it comes to heartbreak, it has the potential to tear us down or take us to a higher place, this depends on how will handle it. Rather than stewing in feelings of hurt and pain, try to find a way to come out of this better than you were before. Here are a few good questions to ask yourself:

  • What did I learn from this relationship that I can use in my next relationship?
  • What did I do in this relationship that I won’t ever do again in another relationship?
  • What qualities do I truly need in a partner? (Think of qualities your ex had that you appreciated, as well as areas where he was lacking that you realized you need.)
  • Why did I stay even though the relationship wasn’t working?
  • What did I learn about myself through my time with him

Once you can give sound answer to the above questions, you can through them grow and develop yourself till you get better.

In conclusion, heart-break truly hurts but that is not enough reason to remain in it. Come out of the pain and hurt and help others to move on too. You won’t be the first and the last person to be heartbroken in a relationship, but you can put a smile on others if you point them to how you are healed from the pain and that can heal them too.

 

Olayemi Olatunji

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