Healthy relationships require forgiveness, compassion, and understanding. Everyone makes mistakes, and if we can’t find it in our hearts to show compassion, understand where our partner is coming from and forgive them for their mistakes, the relationship is becoming unhealthy. However, there are mistakes you should have making in your relationship, so you won’t frustrate your partner and the entirely affairs of the relationship.
These are the 10 mistakes you should shun in your relationship:
- Hiding Your Feelings: There are plenty of reasons you might want to hide your feelings. You might be afraid of being vulnerable. You might think your feelings are silly or unwarranted. Maybe you’re afraid you’ll hurt your partner’s feelings or your own feelings. Whatever your reasons for not being upfront about your feelings, it’s the wrong move. Emotional honesty is critical to a relationship. You each need to know how the other feels. Otherwise, you’re likely to keep doing things that hurt, annoy or otherwise bother each other; it can even mar the relationship than making it work. Your partner definitely can’t make things right with you if they don’t know how you feel. There is, of course, a right way and a wrong way for expressing your feelings. However, in expressing your feelings, avoid hurting your partner’s feelings unnecessarily and don’t scream at them. You should also avoid letting feelings build up before you express them. But you should always express how you feel, even if you’re scared or uncertain how you’ll be received.
- Expecting And Demanding perfection: We all make mistakes. We’re human. Yet we often hold others, especially those who love us and whom we love in return, to a higher standard. We expect perfection from our partners or even demand it. When you expect your partner to never make a mistake, you doom them to failure. Instead, know that this person cares about you and the mistakes they make aren’t intended to hurt you. Give them the benefit of the doubt when there are miscommunications or other problems. Work together to improve your relationship and overcome problems and avoid laying blame. Remember that you’ll make mistakes too. Just as you wouldn’t want your partner to expect perfection from you, you should give them the same grace. Nobody is perfect, God’s grace made us all. We all make mistakes. Do not hold your significant other to some unrealistically high expectation. Love your partner and help him or her to outgrow flaws.
- Act Of Stalking On Social media: This tends to be something you can be guilty of more before getting into the actual relationship, but it’s easy to become obsessed with it and continue it into the relationship. Sometimes it happens when you feel you can’t trust our partner. You start scouring social media, or the Internet at large, for anything and everything you can find out about your partner. You read this or her posts and comments and analyzes every word and every image, looking for possible trouble brewing. Don’t start clicking on the profiles of his or her friends to see if you can figure out who they might have dated before or which one is their former spouse. You’ll drive yourself crazy and once you’re in the relationship, resist the temptation to stalk for signs of trouble. If you feel you can’t trust your partner, or are worried about something you’ve heard or seen, have a conversation with your partner. They can provide context that social media posts cannot.
- Neglecting Your Intuition: Sometimes the signs of trouble are as clear as a billboard. Other times, they’re more subtle and it’s only the whisper of our intuition that tells us there’s a problem. But what if we ignore that whisper? We do it all too often. Many of us have ignored it so much that we can’t even recognize it anymore. But when we ignore our intuition, we end up in relationships that are unhappy, unhealthy, and filled with problems. We spend all our time arguing, being angry, and trying to fix a relationship that we shouldn’t even be in. Not trusting our intuition can be one of the easiest mistakes to fix, though. It’s a matter of trusting how you feel. When your stomach threatens to revolt every time you’re around someone, it’s a sign they’re not right for you. When you get a headache, feel dread, or instinctively pull your body away from someone, those are all your intuition telling you this isn’t the person for you. There might be other things you notice but they all come from your intuition. Heed the signs your intuition sends you. Even when you don’t like what it’s telling you, your intuition won’t lead you astray.
- Always Win Arguments Attitude: Every couple argues. If they don’t, it’s because someone’s holding back, which isn’t good for the relationship. But while every couple argues, not every couple argues in a healthy way. Do you argue to solve the problem or to win? Do you understand the difference? You and your partner might see different ways to resolve an issue that’s where the argument comes from. But arguing to win is arguing to get your partner to admit they’re wrong and you’re right. There is no room for compromise or acknowledging that your way might not be best. Arguing to find a solution, on the other hand, is knowing that you might each have a different perspective but you can find a solution together. It’s seeing the situation as the two of you as a team against the issue, not the two of you pitted against each other. If you fight to win, you risk resentment and bitterness, or a partner who gives in simply to avoid the fight. Instead of trying to prove your own point and be crowned winner of the argument, ask questions and try to see your partner’s point of view.
- Fighting Over Everything: On the opposite end of the spectrum, do not make everything as something to fight or nag about. Think about all of the problems you have with your partner and really consider whether these are deal breakers or if you can build a bridge and get over them. Do more of talking to resolve issues and do away with fight in your relationship. Shun it at all course.
- Try Changing Your Partner: In relationships, we need to realize we are unique individuals. Often we are drawn to someone who is completely opposite to us and after a while we can be tempted to try to change them to be the same as us. Take a step back and remember why you fell in love with this person in the first place. For instance, if partner is for the most part carefree and funny, but sometimes his jokes start to drive you nuts or you wish he is more organized. You have to remember that you love that he can make you laugh and that he has such a positive outlook on life. So, don’t try to change your partner, work with him or her to make your relationship be the best of its kind. Ability to deal with differences is wisdom. Which implies that you are wise when you can handle other people differences well.
- Keeping Secrets From Your Partner: This is something that goes along with keeping communication open, do not keep secrets. Not that you have to tell your partner about every minute detail about your life, but you should not intentionally keep something major from them. You know it is a secret that needs to be shared when you feel even slightly guilty for not telling them. It will come out eventually and sooner is always better than later. Relationship is more blissful when nothing is hidden and you and your partner know even the little things happening in your life. Being open to your partner, help you to be more responsible in that relationship and safe your relationship from injuries that secrecy can cause.
- Avoid Talking About Money: Money is always a tricky subject. You might have come from different backgrounds. If one person grew up wanting for nothing and the other is not, there may be some disagreements over how money is spent. If you are in a serious relationship, even if you have separate money, be sure to discuss these things as money issues are guaranteed to come up eventually. Discuss about how you plan to manage finance in the relationship, don’t avoid talking about it.
- Not Complimenting And Appreciating Your Partner: Lastly, never forget to tell your significant other, “thank you” or “I love you” “You’re beautiful” “You’re handsome”. In the relationship you notice of the kind things that he/she is doing for you and praised him/her accordingly. You should say you love each other all of the time. Sometimes we forget how awesome the other person is until we think about it. Tell your significant other right now how you feel about them and do that more often!
Worthy of note are, never lose your romance, not taking time for yourself and being too co-dependent.
In conclusion, now that you have been warned to avoid these mistakes in your relationship, you have a much better chance of surviving as a couple if you do!
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