Eleven (11) Ways To Spot An Abusive Partner
First of all, it should be noted that this article is basically for ladies, do not be surprised when the focus is just about how to spot an abusive male partner. The reason is that Men are more likely to be abusive than women in relationship. It is very rare to see a woman abusing her partner.
However, if your case is otherwise, just apply the same ways we will be discussing here to spot an abusive female partner.
Nowadays, abusive relationship is prevalent. We even have people that see no big deal in a man beating his spouse. Some are of the opinion that a man can correct his spouse by just a slight beating; it can be a slap or a punch.
The truth is that whether slight or heavy it is very wrong for a man to raise his hands and beat his partner. No reason on earth warrants that, not even when you say she has done the worst thing ever. If you are not ready to take the worst thing from your partner without beating her, don’t bother going into the relationship.
Abusive relationship is deadly, do not condone it. Many lost their lives because they were enduring the batteries and assaults. Many women just want to stay married, so they overlook the abuse, till they are used to it. Please, do not endure that, if you think you are normal enduring it, I will bluntly say that you are the most abnormal. No healthy person will endure being battered.
In order to help you spot an abusive partner early, which will prevent you from going into an abusive relationship or marriage, we will be looking at eleven ways to spot an abusive partner. Which are:
#1 Humiliating/Embarrassing You (Verbal Abuse)
Something that should be noted well is that verbal abuse precedes physical abuse. Don’t take it lightly when a guy finds it cool to always insult you. If he can just embarrass you anywhere and anytime, he can physically abuse you. Don’t make the mistake of believing that, oh my guy only humiliates me whenever he is angry, so he can’t be beating me. Calm down sis, no happy man ever beats his spouse, instead he will care for her, only angry one does. If you condone the angry moment humiliation be ready to condone the angry moment beating too. But I love you so much that I will advise you avoid a partner that shows this sign, he is most likely to physically abuse you. If your partner does not see big deal in insulting and embarrassing you, it means he doesn’t value you. If someone doesn’t value a thing, abuse it inevitable.
#2 Shouts Instead Of Communicating
If your partner enjoys shouting at you instead of communicating the problem, he is likely to physically abuse you. A healthy relationship requires that partners talk out their differences, no of them should shout or wail at the other. When you discover that your partner always shouts at you and you have talked about it which he finds nothing wrong in it, avoid him.
#3 He Blames You For Everything
If your partner believes that he is never wrong, he is likely to be abusive. He put all the blames all you at any disagreement; he is too perfect to be wrong. The same way he will see physical abuse as nothing wrong, or may later say it is your fault that he beats you since he is omni-perfect (Never Wrong).
#4 Domination And Control
Look out for domineering traits in your partner, if you notice any, pay serious attention to it. A man that likes to control will always want to earn by all means even if it is by physical abuse. When you discover that he always want to be in charge, he may be likely be a patriarch and feels like he is supreme to his partner so he can control and do anything to make her just submit to his will. If he has not even married you but always want to make decisions for you which you should not go against, it is a dangerous red flag that he is going to physically abuse you especially in marriage. He always want his wishes to come true, his voice is the final say and no other. He may even take it to controlling your finance, he wants to know how you dealing with your money.Controlling how you partner spend even the money he gives you. This may also include forbidding you from working. I have heard guys saying their wives must be home, no working and all. It’s not your decision if your spouse will work or not, if you want her as a full time house-wife let it be her decision and not at your words. A guy should not force his partner to be home when she wants to work. At times may include monitoring the person’s communication without her knowledge so has to always be in charge of her moves.
#5 Aggressively Deals With Opposite Sex
Don’t make the mistake of refusing to pay attention to how you partner deals with other ladies. If he look down on them and treat them shabbily, it will soon be your turn even though you are saying that he is always nice to you. Especially if he is the type that sees nothing wrong in beating his sisters, he flogs grown up sisters like cutting grasses, he will soon get to you if you do not run away from such partner. A man that sees nothing wrong in beating a lady is worse than an animal, don’t make excuse for him when you see him beating or insulting his sisters or other ladies, shun such, don’t in any way support it.
#6 Isolating You From Family And Friends
Any partner that likes dictating who his partner can and can’t spend time with will likely be an abuser. The reason is that anytime you stay with anyone against his will, he may be infuriated to the extent of beating you. A man should not be a dictator, if you feel like a person is wrong to be around your partner, talk to convince her to seeing in the same perspective as you and not to dictate to her.
#7 Unreasonable Jealous
If your man is always annoyingly jealous, he is likely to be abusive.
#8 Disregard Menial Job Employees
This may be that you both are on a date and his action disdains the waiter without being remorseful; he is likely to be abusive. A real man respects everyone even the ones with menial jobs.
#9 Acts Aggressively When Angry
This includes punching, slapping or shaking, destroying property, throwing things, locking a woman in or out of the house, physical restraint, trying to strangle or choke, or driving dangerously, any of these is just a red flag that he will abuse you later in the relationship. Don’t make excuse for him, you are likely to regret if you do. Even if it is just once he has ever beat you if has been you once, he can beat as many as possible times. Earlier in your relationship make it so glaring that you do not tolerate abuse at any slight.
#10 Always Like To Forcefully Have His Way
It may involve forced sexual acts, such as forcefully kissing, caressing or sleeping with you, which is a rape already. Also include non-sexual acts such as forcing you to do a thing against your will such as sit down there, that you know you cannot just get up because you are scared he may react terribly.
#11 Always Shuts Your Opinion
If your partner is someone you are always afraid to express yourself to, he is likely to be an abuser. He always overrides your thinking, you don’t have a say, he can just shut you up of opinion, he will possibly father you with a lot of beatings later in your relationship. Shun this by all means possible.
In conclusion, do not tolerate any partner with the above signs, if you are already in an abusive marriage, speak up till you get help, do not be silent about it. You can help yourself better by walking away from an abusive relationship.